God's Love

I had a minor surgery this past Friday (4/7) to remove a benign tumor in my body. Scary as the word “surgery” sounds, God has loved and blessed me more than I can ever imagine.

My work mom (boss Prema) had been telling me for years to have my physical done. Despite her constant reminder, I shy away from the doctor’s office. Unbelievably, Kaiser actually called me to schedule my physical last December. The date they gave happened to be my company shut-down, so I couldn’t even muster any valid excuse of not going. Yes, I complied and went for my first ever physical... reluctantly.

During my physical, my doctor found a benign tumor (not cancerous!). Over a series of subsequent doctor appointments, the tumor was tested and a few atypical cells were found to be associated with it. The recommendation my doctor gave was to remove the tumor, for fear of the possibility that the atypical cells may turn into cancerous later, even though there’s no history of cancer in my family.

Just like Prema said to me, all she wanted was for me to have a physical. She did not tell me to come back with this! I sure did not expect to have this either. Yes, I struggled with the idea of having surgery. The scientific side of me didn’t mind removal at all but the human side of me just wasn’t clear what this all meant as surgery has its own risks and does not guarantee that the tumor or atypical cells won’t come back.

I told my doctor that I would be praying about surgery and get back to her once I have clarity. As a Christian herself, she reminded me that everything is in God’s hands. As I struggled with my decision, I talked to a small circle of family and friends and started my prayer journey with them. Interestingly, the more we prayed, the more peaceful I got. God has opened my eyes to see that indeed everything is in God’s hands. Even when I was doing my BSF homework, studying how God was carrying out His covenant promise in Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob’s lives, I was reminded how faithful God is.

So I went in for my surgery this past Friday. My mom prayed for me before I went inside for prep and operation. During the whole time, my parents were praying outside, whereas my prayer warrior friends prayed wherever they were. My nurse commented how calm I was and indeed, I was very peaceful for God took all my fears and struggles. God’s hand was definitely upon me during my operation. I did not need extra anesthesia nor feel much pain. He was merciful and gracious to me. He had masked the pain I could suffer. The only pain I felt was the needle pain for IV and local anesthesia.

For my surgery, nurses had to strap my legs and arms. My arms were stretched out so that they could be attached to something, whether it was the IV, pulse reader or blood pressure cuff. Obviously, I never had surgery before nor have I ever been tied-up like that, during my operation, I cried. I cried not because I was in pain but because I suddenly realized how Jesus must have suffered on the cross for me. His arms were also stretched out like mine but nailed. His legs were also tied-down like mine but nailed. While I was lying there on the operation bed, I couldn’t help to think the sufferings Jesus went through. I had anesthesia and 1 nurse who was constantly tending to me, making sure I was doing okay. Jesus had no anesthesia and had to fight the pull of gravity as the cross was upright. Jesus had all those people mocking him when he was crucified. What a contrast to the “suffering” I was undergoing. I was in awe of His love for me!

My surgery was very successful. Not much blood loss. The tumor was removed completely and quickly, less than the hour which they projected originally. I walked away with only 1 stitch but a stitch to remind how much God loves me. Today is the 2nd day after my surgery, I still only feel some discomfort and no pain. Originally I did not feel comfortable in sharing my story. However the more I think about it, the more I see God’s love and I don’t want this blessing just stops here with me. May you be encouraged and can reflect on how much God is showing His love in your life. May God’s wonderful name be glorified!